Saturday, January 21, 2006

Giselle, We Hardly Knew Ye

And apparently didn’t want to.

She kept telling us she didn’t have a fan base, so we finally took her at her word. TV “journalist” Giselle Fernandez became the third “celebrity” voted off Dancing With the Stars.

If she’d bothered to do a little homework—like watching Season One of DWTS or the last two presidential elections—perhaps she’d still be around. We vote on personality, not talent. If you’ve got the skills, you’d better charm the pants off us, too.

How else to explain the appeal of P. Miller, who remains in the hunt despite the fact that he can not dance. Dave and I took ballroom lessons a year ago. Even with the instructor leading, Dave could not get the moves down. And I tell you he’s better than P.

But P.’s got heart. We weren’t sure about Giselle. There’s a fine line between competitive and cuckoo to win, and she failed to walk it. Or maybe it was her bio. Anyone voting online could have stumbled across this gem, which refers to the 44-year-old as “one of television’s most seasoned young journalists” and offers up an endorsement from no less than Oprah, who apparently once described Fernandez as “magical.” In what context I can’t imagine. We’d like our D-list celebs to show a little humility, please. And then there were those abs. Ain’t no woman in Middle America gonna vote for those abs, especially if she’s over 35 and struggling with persistent belly fat. Lisa Rinna, you’ve been warned.

Speaking of Ms. Lips, am I the only person who thinks it’s more than a little sad that Harry Hamlin is always in the audience cheering on his wife, even during the Results Show? I mean, it’s cool to be a supportive spouse, but what happened to his career. He used to be the Sexiest Man Alive. Next to Nick Nolte, SMA 1992 (I must have blacked out that entire year), Hamlin’s fallen farthest from his perch. Maybe former L.A. Law-er Jimmy Smits could find a job for him in the White House.


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