Monday, February 06, 2006

Monday Morning Quarterback

Half-time at the Super Bowl: Two years have passed and we’re still being penalized for Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction. I ask, why must the viewers suffer, and Justin Timberlake is allowed to continue dating Cameron Diaz? Nothing against the Rolling Stones, but they haven’t been relevant musically since Terry Bradshaw quarterbacked the Steelers. And next time someone suggests Nicole Richie needs to eat a sandwich, they should send a couple of pizzas to Mick & Co. Memo to Mr. Jagger: We expect you to date 20-year-old supermodels, not have the figure of one.

The ads: Anyone who logs online to view the Internet-only version of’s commercial, which features a buxom lass pouring out of her tank top, should be forced to contribute to Dove’s Self-Esteem Fund for young girls.

Post-game: I have managed thus far to resist the impulse to tune into the “Desperate Housewives”/“Grey’s Anatomy” Sunday night juggernaut. But those geniuses at ABC sucked me in with their onslaught of cryptic “Code Black” ads for “Grey’s.” In case you are immune to marketing ploys, Code Black turned out to be a signal to call the bomb squad or evacuate the hospital (this wasn’t quite clear), thanks to unexploded ammo lodged in a patient’s chest cavity. Haven’t I seen this somewhere before? Why yes, I believe it was a “very special” episode of “ER.” As a bonus gimmick, “Grey’s” ended with a cliffhanger, hoping to get us newcomers to tune in again next week. Um, no.


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