Friday, March 02, 2007

Posh Life

Never underestimate the creator of “American Idol,” but Simon Fuller’s newest reality series sounds like a loser.

Fuller, who once managed the Spice Girls, has announced plans to chronicle the life of Victoria Beckham (aka, Posh Spice) as she makes the difficult transition from pampered, uber-wealthy Brit to pampered, uber-wealthy American. That’s right, Posh and husband David Beckham are picking up stakes and relocating their brood from England to L.A.--and Fuller thinks that will make for some fascinating television.

Speaking as someone who tuned into “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here,” proof that I’ll watch almost anything, I’ve finally found a line I’m not willing to cross.

Not only has Fuller overestimated Posh’s appeal stateside, which seems to be confined to her friendship with Katie (aka, Kate) Holmes, but the premise sounds horribly crass: Watch a celebrity transfer her support system, including publicist, stylist and personal assistant, to a new town.

Wow. Talk about having obstacles to overcome.

Mercifully, the show is slated for an extremely limited run of six episodes.

Week 1: Posh supervises movers, discovers bubble wrap! Has personal assistant pop it for her!

Week 2: Posh wonders, “Do I have to bring the kids on the plane with me, or can I ship them with the rest of my accessories?” Publicist and stylist debate, settle on FedEx.

Week 3: Posh arrives in L.A., stylist stranded in London awaiting visa. Posh steps out in “mom” jeans, paparazzi catch her using a scrunchie.

Week 4: Posh must choose between Kaballah and Scientology. Decides on Kaballah because Demi Moore is way hotter than Leah Remini.

Week 5: New neighbors invite Posh and Becks to a potluck. Posh astounded that Becks does not qualify as a hot dish. Publicist issues apology, noting “Mrs. Beckham is not familiar with food.”

Week 6: FedEx acknowledges error, Beckham children mistakenly delivered to Scary Spice. The tots sue to remain with Scary. Posh replaces them with a Birkin bag.


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