Just Another Random Monday

I’m not sure which was more surreal, Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizuni belting out Elvis tunes during his tour of Graceland or Priscilla Presley’s overly nipped and tucked face. Will the real Joker please stand up?

I like Koizuni, who separates himself from the G8 stuffed-shirt pack with his open collars and surfer hair. His term in office is up later this year and he’s clearly in who-gives-a-shit mode.

Dubya looked uncomfortable during the entire photo op, like he was wondering “Isn’t this what the Vice President’s supposed to do while I run the country?”

Laura Bush tagged along for the fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches and stuck around to make sure things didn’t get out of hand in the Jungle Room. She’ll turn 60 later this year, to Priscilla’s 61. In a side-by-side comparison, I’ll take Laura’s laugh lines and wrinkles over Presley’s cheek-to-cheek perma-grin.

* * *

So Long Becks: England was eliminated this weekend from World Cup play. To British team captain David Beckham—Becks, we hardly had time to ogle ye. My beloved Swedes are long gone too (turns out one of their players is a Calvin Klein underwear model—can I pick ‘em or what?). Germany, France, Portugal and Italy remain alive in the tournament. I’m rooting for Portugal and Italy in an All Eye Candy final.

* * *

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Seat: The Cubs and White Sox wrapped up their intra-league series yesterday, with the North Siders defeating the South Siders 15-11. I was distracted from the Cubs sudden ability to hit the ball by an even more shocking phenomenon—the shirtless male fan sitting behind home plate. Granted, it was extremely hot and humid in Chicago over the weekend. But there are some people who should remain clothed at all times. This corpulent gentleman was one of them (though mercifully not hirsute as well). The woman next to him obviously agreed, as she was visibly cringing and leaning in the opposite direction. You can’t enter a restaurant, supermarket or movie theater without proper attire. What gives at the ballpark? I’m not a huge proponent of muscle tees, but something is better than nothing. Unless you’re a Swedish soccer playing Calvin Klein underwear model.