Reunited. Will It Sound So Good?

Goddammit, now I have to watch the Grammys. I hate the Grammys. Too many categories--all that rap and country. Too much leather. Too much Tony Bennett.

And now I have to watch. Because The Police are going to perform.

Sure, I fell out of love with Sting a long time ago—around the time he started practicing yoga—but it’s still The Police. When I was in high school, I wasn’t allowed to go to Detroit to catch the “Synchronicity” tour (actually, I don’t think I was allowed to even ask if I could go to Detroit). And maybe the Grammys isn’t exactly the same thing. And maybe the band will completely and totally suck. I don’t care. I’m there.

I’m prepared to suffer through Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani, even 50 Cent or Toby freakin’ Keith as long as I get to hear Andy Summers pluck the opening chords to “Every Breath You Take.” Oh, I know that a reunion tour is likely to follow and I could spare myself the Grammy agony and buy a ticket to an actual Police concert, but I honestly can’t see myself plunking down $100 just to relive the year that I was 16.

Besides, I’m still not allowed to go to Detroit.

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one already. Today’s Web edition of Entertainment Weekly (ew.com) wonders, “Will ‘Norbit’ hurt Eddie Murphy’s Oscar chances?” I’d just like to point out that I wondered that very same thing. Yesterday.