The Grammy nominees were announced yesterday and Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah” is up for Song of the Year.

I’m not sure how to respond to that, except to say…


Hey there songwriter
I can not stand your stupid ditty
I am disgruntled with the lyrics
And will tell you without pity
Get a clue
No one can rhyme as bad as you
I swear it’s true

Hey there songwriter
Do you own a dictionary?
‘Cause you might not sound so sappy
With a broad vocabulary
Close your eyes
Pick random words to memorize
That’s my advice

Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Rhymes are killing me

Hey there songwriter
I know poetry is hard
But I have to tell you boy
That you would never catch the Bard
Doing what you do
You made a couplet out of “good”
With the word “good”

Hey there songwriter
Can we talk about your grammar?
You wrote a line that sounds like Yoda
I want to hit you with a hammer
What did you do?
Skip every English class in school
That wasn’t cool

Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me

I know you think you’re pretty smart
Your single topped the music chart
But one-hit wonders always fade away
4 Non Blondes and Bow Wow Wow
Ask yourself, where are they now
And could this be the future you will face
So if you want a long career
One that lasts beyond this year
Next time write a tune that’s not so trite
You know I’m right

Hey there songwriter
Feels great to get that off my chest
Your song’s been driving me crazy
Now I can give my angst a rest
I’ve had my say
Don’t make me waste another day
Trying to find all kinds of ways
To escape the song you play
Just go away

Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Oh your rhymes are killing me
Rhymes are killing me