It’s Not Easy Being Green

I’m fine with celebrities promoting causes, as long as they know what the hell they’re talking about. This caveat clearly does not extend to singer Sheryl Crow, the latest to jump on the environmental bandwagon.

Don’t get me wrong, in general I think it’s a good idea to use fewer fossil fuels and kill fewer trees. But Ms. Crow, in perhaps one of the nuttiest statements ever, would like us all to limit ourselves to a single square of toilet paper. I don’t know if she means per day or per bathroom break. In either case, in the words of the inimitable Rosie O’Donnell: “Has she seen the size of my ass?”

Crow’s pronouncement has me scratching my head. I’ll try to be delicate here, but in certain situations, a square will not get the job done. Which leads me to wonder, how does Ms. Crow not know this? Especially given the amount of time her head has clearly spent up her ass.