Save Money, Vote for Hillary

I, along with apparently Nancy Franklin at The New Yorker, often imagine how much better Hillary Clinton would be performing as a candidate if only she would hire me as her personal adviser/voice of reason from the Heartland.

While her campaign has yet to come calling--although they do keep in touch fairly frequently via email--I'm going to offer up the following slogan gratis: "Save Money, Vote for Hillary."

You see, Congress once again failed to pass "equal pay for equal work" legislation. Which means that if we hire Hillary for president, we can pay her less than Obama or McCain. Sweet deal! Given the current state of our national debt, we need to start pinching pennies wherever possible.

As a side note to all those twenty-something girls who've opted to support Barack Obama over Hillary because, you know, we've already totally reached gender equality in this country, I can only say, um...yeah.